Can You Ever Really Stop Time?
by Sabbelvis
Summary: Many people will believe that there is no "point" per se to life; life simply exists, and the meaning of an individual's life is up to the individual. What happens when you've found your "point of life", but life won't let you live it? Brittany/Santana.


**Title: **Can You Ever Really Stop Time?

**Pairing: **Brittany/Santana (relationships).

**Rated: **M for language and intimacy in later chapters.

**Themes: **Angst, Drama, Comedy, Romance, Comfort.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Brittany or Santana. (yet.. muwha).

**Summary: **Many people believe that there is no "point" per se to life; life simply exists, and the meaning of an individual's life is up to the individual. What happens when you've found your ''point of life'', but life won't let you live it? Brittany/Santana.

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><p>Judgement. One word, yet so powerfull to those who have come to deal with it. I had, <em>like my old school mates would say<em>, a disease. The truth was, I actually didn't. There is one point in everybody's life that you have to lie, just to survive. Perhaps that moment for you happened already. Perhaps it didn't. Perhaps it won't ever come. You can consider yourself blessed, then. As for me.. well, I lied a lot.

_''It's 5. The answer is 5.'' _

_''Correct!'' Great job, Brittany.''_

In Middle School, there were these weird groups of people. You had the sportsgroup, the ones that eat everything they see, the artists, etc. I have to admit that I didn't really fit into any kind of group. Maybe it was because nobody liked me or perhaps because nobody ever took the courage to talk to me. Looking back now.. I think it was because nobody understood me. I liked one group in school, they looked really smart. I loved that term, back then. I loved being smart. It was something I was good at. I was, in fact, a really smart person. Smart in my own way, though. I was stuck in my little fantasy world most of the time. Despite the fact that I believed (and still believe) in unicorns, and talking cats, I also knew damn well that the square root of 4 was 2.

_''You're really smart, aren't you?'' _

_''Uhm.. I guess.''_

_''You're kind of pretty you know. You could join us at our table during lunch if you'd like.'' _

_''Really? With all you pretty girls? Are you sure? I-I don't want to bother you..'' _

_''Yeah sure. But we do have a status, you know. Maybe you could pretend to be a little less smart?''_

We all have those weak moments, were we have to do what other people expects us to do even though we know it's wrong. I wanted nothing more than to be accepted. I didn't care by who. Instead of doing the right thing.. I gave in. I stopped my extra classes after school, stopped doing my homework like I was told, and stopped caring. Well, I knew that deep inside me.. I still cared.

After the bell rang, I quickly packed my books in my bag, and dissapeared out of the classroom. Middle School was officially over. As I ran down the hallways to the door, I couldn't help but smile a little. After this summer, I would go to High School, were nobody would know me. It was kind of scary for me, though. I was going to be alone again. But I was also glad that I could finally start over and be myself. High school was a new start. All the pretty girls that made me this way wouldn't be there. It was a start of a new and (maybe) a better life. And let's be honest.. everyone deserves a second change, don't they?

Little did I know, that High School would change my life completely.

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><p>One of the worst things in life, is that people always have their own image about who they are. If you look a certain way, people will assume you are that certain way, too. If you look nice, you are nice. If you look like a virgin, you are a virgin. This is just something people like to do. This state of insecurity has become natural for Santana.<p>

_''Santana, where are my cigars!''_

_''How the hell should I know?'' _

_''Well you've probably smoked them, haven't you?'' _

_''No, abualita! I don't even smoke cigars!'' _

She looks like a bitch. So you can assume she is one, right? At first she wasn't. But when you're young, people will have this kind of influence over you. You can't really control it. Deep inside, she was just as sweet as cotton candy. When you've had a life like Santana's, you would know how much words can really hurt.

_''Look at her. She's such a bitch.'' _

This kind of bullying, is maybe the worst kind. It comes in steps. It'll hurt you a couple of times, just like it did with Santana. We've all been hurt by words before. The worst thing about it is that there'll be one moment in your life where you'll start to believe those words. When you've been called ugly, for example, it freaking hurts. When they do this year after year after year, what are you suppose to say?

_''I'm not ugly. That's just how the whole world calls me.''_

No. It's not that easy. People will expect that after an "_I'm sorry_" or an "_I didn't mean it that way_" you're going to be ok. But the sad truth is.. you won't. Words hurt. Words will not only change your view on _life_ completely, but it will change your view on yourself as well.

_''You're a bitch, Santana.''_

And just like that, she became a bitch.

You stop hoping for a better life, and you're going to start hoping for a better day, because, well.. we all know that "_a better life_" will never happen, now will it?

Santana was never a bitch. She just had the bad luck to look like one and as every person in the world knows.. people like to judge. Thanks to those people, Santana started to believe that "_being a bitch_" was a compliment. It became something to be proud of. She took adventage of her looks. Being that mean, pretty girl, made her stronger.

She became impenetrable.

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><p><strong>This chapter was just basically Brittany introducing her past and herself. She didn't know Santana at Middle School, so the second part was just so you guys would know her story as well. Favoritereview, please. :D **


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